Because You Never Know When They'll Beam You Up

Tired of worrying about extraterrestrial encounters interrupting your life on Earth? We've got you covered. Our Alien Abduction Insurance provides peace of mind in the event you're beamed up by beings from another planet. Whether it’s probing, unexpected teleportation, or just a really awkward dinner on a UFO, you’ll be protected.

When Gravity Lets Go, We Hold You Down

Let’s face it: we take gravity for granted. But what if, one day, it just... stops? Your partner floats away. Your dog drifts into the neighbor’s yard. Everything, orbiting.

That’s where Gravity Insurance™ comes in. We offer comprehensive, no-nonsense coverage in the event of a complete gravitational failure. Because staying grounded shouldn’t be a luxury.

Protecting your past, so you still have a future. 

So you’ve designed a time machine. Yay! But one accidental slip and suddenly you've erased your entire family line. Oops.

That’s why we offer Grandfather Paradox Protection™: the only insurance designed for catastrophic ancestral interference. Whether it’s an (un)intentional shove off a cliff in 1823 or a duel gone wrong in colonial times, we’ve got your timeline covered.